To the Forgotten Dreams
by Nigihayami Haruko
Summary: A collection of poems in honour of the Shinsengumi. Though they fell, it does not tarnish the dream of a better Era. Here's to the Forgotten, let's remember them for once.
1. Forgotten Sake

Forgotten Sake

Bringing the cup to my lips

The familiar foreign taste drowning me

_It's been too long_

The hilt shone as I fingered it

_... too long..._

Another gulp followed

quicker than the memories could surface

~

Outside the weeping willow 

swayed in the breeze

_Much too long_

~

Green clashed with white

Smirking its humourless grin

like a lover hiding a secret

But there's no mystery in your passing

_'... I'd look at you til I was blind'_

**Far too long**

~

The music rang once more

No honour is required in death

For a life accomplished

~

The cup met my lips once more

_So very long_

"Ahou."

~

I hate to drink alone 

and you knew it.

_... too long..._

Phantom fingers reached out

A true smile for once

As you took a sip

The sunlight filtered in, carrying

your words never faltering

_"It's been too long."_

"Aa... Okita."

AN: Nope, this is definitely not what happened in my mind, nonetheless, this is what came out. Inspired by StEAliAnA's wonderful fics on Saitou. I'm merely a planet, she's the real Sun.

~Haruko


	2. Another

Disclaimer: Shinsengumi, to which a great deal of connotations have been linked to, does not belong to me. They are dead in the pages of history. Only the words are mine, but now they're yours.

Another

  
  


Another day, another passing

Goodbye to the fallen rose, as

dust rises to meet the already gone

who sit and ask

_ 'What was this all for?'_

Silence the only answer while

Death stands at their shoulder

~

Another sunrise, another endless,

meaningless beginning

The lark screaming 

for closure

This act of final release, the

only gesture of compassion,

A soul's feast as

we bask in each velvet sky

_ 'When will this end?'_

~

Another cry, another loss

The willow's branches dip to meet

the flowing stream

Find your comfort

lest it falters in moonrise

~

Another mistake, another gone,

The wolf mourns

the passing of its last

**When will the end**

** ever justify the means?**

~

Another tear, another heart breaks

Wind sweeps through the empty den

Maybe tomorrow, in the rising of the 

Light We'll find an answer

'Til then, the lone wolf remains behind.

  
  


AN: Yet another poem to complement 'Forgotten Sake'. This one expresses what I feel the war was about. Nothing to do with real ideals, because they only get lost and forgotten in the midst of bloodshed. It's more of trying to survive to see another new day. It's tiring and energy sapping, but it's all that they have left. 

Oh yes, and 'the rising of the Light' is linked to the rising of the Meiji Era, since the Kanji for Mei means Light (in Chinese), I'm not too sure about it's meaning in Japanese, please let me know, if you do!

~Haruko

Queen of Koorime: Thank you for your encouragement, it means a lot to a lonely and weary poet. ^_^

MissBehavin: Here's another one for you, you're the best!


	3. Leaves of Autumn

Leaves of Autumn

The first leaf of Autumn descends

Pain spasm through this weakened frame, I bend

Few tomorrows in my way

Too many regrets of yesterday

Life a fragile balance waiting to careen

The last blood, the last death to be seen

~

The last leaf of Autmn has flown

Then, the final passing, my own.

  
  


  
  


An: Thoughts of Okita. 

Dustyfall: Thank you for your encouragement. Bittersweet? That's my favourite genre -scratches head- you're good. ^_^ Here's another for you!


	4. A Fallen Hero, a little boy

**Disclaimer: Only the words are mine and yours, save for the song lyrics, can you discern them?**

The Fallen Hero, a little boy

Far away in a foreign city,

Travelling by foot one day,

One step ahead of another.

Autumn brought its

tangy scent to the wind.

_Like that day so many_

_ years before_

_~_

_**He is young**_

_**He's afraid**_

_**Let him rest**_

_**Heaven blessed**_

~

Belonging to faith,

chained by honour,

Lives nothing more than a number.

~

'_Ne...'_

Your voice broke through my reverie

from so long ago.

_'Where are we going?'_

To find the fallen hero

who nobody remembered.

~

Eyes stinging from that confession,

Turning to hide the pain...

~

_**If I die**_

_**Let me die**_

_**Let him live...**_

~

Why did you have 

to die in a foreign land?

**A grin.**

_'No where is foreign in my homeland.'_

~

One step ahead of another

Finding my way to you.

  
  


  
  


  
  


AN: This sounds more like a vignette than a poem. [ducks rotten eggs and vegetables] No! [eyes widen] Not that! Not- **SPLAT **Not tomatoes.... _ [wipes face] I love you too my wonderful readers who hate me by now. XP

Alright, this is from ... Saitou's perspective with regards to Okita, as usual. No, I'm not going for homosexual connotations, take it anyway you want, but it's true! The song is from 'Les Miserables', from a father to a son, which is sometimes what I think Saitou sees in Okita. As usual I beg for your reviews and comments, so please grant this unworthy author some! Onegaishimasu!

~Haruko

Dustyfall: Surely I don't deserve such praise! You make it worthwhile for me to post these random thoughts down. I wish I could have more readers like you, -sniff- makes me feel so cherished and loved.

MissBehavin: For sure no chapter is complete without a comment from you! Thank you for your kind encouragement, it spurs me on to write some more and share my everyday tidbits with you. 

  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  



	5. Changing Seasons

Changing Seasons – 23rd July 2004

Sitting down today, I stared

out the window

Everything unchanged

yet something within, altered.

The stirring within of longing

reminisces of past years

gone by.

It smells the stench of

sweat, blood and filth;

basks in the glory,

honour and strife…

Yes, the wolf still exists

in all.

#

But as I sipped my tea

to the chirping of the birds,

The pull lessens to a mere

throb when she walks in the room.

Her belly

swollen with hope and renewed strength

as the scent of cherry blossom thickens.

The Autumn of war gone,

The winter of death as left…

Spring, my comrades, spring has finally arrived.

* * *

A/N: Doesn't quite matter who's POV this is, any survivor could've thought or felt this way, that's the idea, that it's a universal emotion, if only for the word 'wolf'. This is a little piece to celebrate this little 'book' of poems being nominated for RKRC awards under Poems. A great bit thanks to those who have been supporting this, despite my lack of enthusiasm in updating this year, who wouldn't write with a supportive bunch of people like you? To **Missbehavin****, Dragons Maiden, XD, Queen of Koorime, Dustyfall and Stealiana**: your support and encouragement touches me and pushes me on to continuing this journey. It gets tough and arduous sometimes, but it's made all the more easier knowing that you're behind me. And to the mysterious person who nominated me for the prestigious award: Won't you just tell me why you did it, cos I can't think up a reason for that!! Thanks for everything!

Haruko


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